Tuesday, December 23, 2014

A question of a query

Hey all.  I'm working on getting my next query letter ready for sending out and have two different blurbs I'm considering sending along with it, so if you could give me your input, it would be greatly appreciated.

Blurb One:


What if everything you thought was true is a lie?

When Kas accidentally stumbles on a gateway to another dimension, her entire life is turned upside down. Transported to a place called the Waymeet of Worlds, she discovers that there is more to who she is than she'd ever thought possible.

When visions of the past and future collide, Kas has to decide whom she can trust. The mysterious man called Milord. The green-clad Christoph. Or the Voice she's heard all her life. Some wish to help her achieve her true destiny. Others want her soul.

But when everything is not what it seems, who can you trust?


Blurb Two: 

Most teenagers don’t have a voice talking in their heads, but that’s pretty normal for Kas. It’s been there her whole life, giving her directions, keeping her from harm. When the voice advises against the family picnic in the mountains, she’s sure there’s a reason, but convincing her mom is another matter.

While in the mountains, Kas accidentally stumbles on a gateway to another dimension. Almost immediately, her life is in peril. From a disembodied man known only as Milord and a hoard of hooded men who want her soul, she doesn’t know who to trust in this strange place where dreams become reality.

As Kas learns more about who she is and how she came to the Waymeet of Worlds, it becomes clear that someone is lying to her. But is it the voice she’s known her whole life or the new friends she finds in Milord’s castle. Choosing the wrong people to trust could cost her soul and prevent her from fulfilling her destiny.


Blurb Three:

Kas thought she was a normal teenager, with all the normal teenage problems. Minus the Voice thing. Most teenagers don't have a voice talking in their heads. But all that changes when she accidentally discovers a gateway to another dimension.

Trapped in a place called the Waymeet of Worlds, Kas learns that everything she thought was real is a lie. From the disembodied man who rules the Waymeet, to a hoard of hooded men who want her soul, Kas must question everything she thought she knew, or risk losing herself entirely. When visions of the past and future collide, Kas has to decide whom she can trust. The invisible man called Milord? The voice she's heard all her life? The family who lied to her about who she really is? Or the even more mysterious Christoph?

Please vote in the comments section.

2 comments:

  1. Between the three of them, I like One and Two the most, but between those two, I like Two best. One's really good at setting up a bit of suspense and curiosity for the story, but I like how Two does the same and reveals a little bit more about the story's setup.

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  2. I liked both 2 and 3, but 3 was somehow more intriguing to me and really piqued my curiosity!

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